Walking in his footsteps
by Janieee
Summary: Wade dealing with the aftermath of 2x16 the only way he's been shown how


**A/N: Just a quick one shot that popped into my head while I couldn't get to sleep. Wade dealing with the aftermath of 2x16. It's unbeta-d so please excuse any mistakes! I dunno if I can really write angst? But here goes anyway! Hope you like it :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own HoD or any of it's characters**

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He took a swig from the fast emptying bottle, his legs dangling over the edge as he just sat there and watched.

The first few days after had been surreal. It was as if he had instantly been transported into another town that just looked vaguely like Bluebell but was foreign and cold and painful to be around. The townspeople had by no means been subtle about their feelings, ranging from Addie's full fledged rant at him at the dixie stop to Cody completely ignoring him at the Rammer-Jammer and waiting 15 minutes just so Shelly could serve him instead. They had all been nothing but sweet and supportive to Zoe on the other hand, very understanding and sympathetic – baking her pies, offering her free dinners or hair blowouts or car services. Knowing how much the town's affections meant to her after the flu outbreak, he just knew she must be loving this.

_Yeh, I'm sure she's just _loving_ the fact her boyfriend betrayed her._

This is how it kept going for him. Round in circles between being mad at himself, and then slightly mad at her, to being even madder at himself for thinking he had any right to be anything less than sorry. Shame, anger, guilt.

He took another swig.

He had freaked out, seeing everything that 'could be' illuminated by that stupid neon sign. His own bar with the woman he loved sitting in it smiling at him every day. It was too much pressure, too much responsibility, too different to the person he had always been. He was just going to end up failing, might as well go down being exactly who he had always been.

_You were never a cheater though_.

Another swig.

Sure he had been with his fair share of girls but they knew what they were getting in to. Most were a night at best, or a couple scattered around. Even the few girls that dared to be his girlfriend, mostly spent their time naked in his gatehouse. The opportunity for cheating had never really been present. But even then when something new had caught his eye, he always had the decency to break up with whoever before he moved on. He fed them the compliment sandwich and they went happily on their way, knowing deep down they'd be better off.

_Not a single girl ever fought to be with Wade Kinsella._

Another swig.

He smirked to himself as he looked at the town square, it was so empty. Usually come first of the month people were wondering around just waiting for Earl and their performance. He had always thought it was for the performance anyway, and had endured the humiliation because no one else was going to get the stupid man down. Just his luck it turned out the town might have been there to support him instead, make sure he got Earl down and that he wouldn't have to suffer the loss of his last parent. No girl might have wanted to fight for him, but Bluebell had in their own way.

_Had. Yet another thing I threw away._

He drained the bottle and set it down, feeling the familiar haze set in further. He heard the heavy footed steps of his father making his ascent up the fire escape. Earl was humming softly as his head became visible, clumsily trying to pull himself up the last steps with his free hand.

"Excellent timing Earl, I just ran out. Pass it over."

"Wade? You're early! No I must be late, where's the audience!?" he asked smiling as he wandered over to take his starting mark.

"Guess it's a closed rehearsal tonight. And since you won't need all your fuel to make it the best one yet, you might as well share."

And with that he grabbed the bottle and started on Earl's. It went down smoother, possibly because it was stronger, or possibly because the three he had had earlier were just dulling his senses. Wade guessed the only silver lining of having a long time alcoholic for a father was that he knew which whisky worked. _Ha! now there's a depressing thought. _He probably should have stopped for dinner. Or lunch for that matter.

"Hey now! I'm not falling for that again. Better not pour it into the gutter like last time, don't care if your pretty little doctor says it's bad for me, that's good stuff!"

"I poured it into the gutter over a year ago dad. And somehow I don't think Zoe really cares what any of the Kinsella men are doing any more"

"Had a little argument with your _girlfriend_ did you?"

"I cheated. She's not my girlfriend anymore"

He took an extra large gulp that time as Earl's smile quickly faded and he stumbled over to sit slightly behind Wade. Despite everything, Earl knew he was in no shape to sit that close to the edge.

"What happened?"

Wade couldn't help but falter slightly. It was the first time since Tucker's attempt that anyone had bothered to ask him. They all just figured it was bound to happen and temptation had gotten the better of him. He knew he shouldn't be disappointed by that, they weren't far off after all, but somehow knowing for absolute sure that everyone around him held the lowest opinion of him was worse than all the years he had just believed it. He had finally proved he was a deadbeat.

He didn't even both to turn around and face Earl, "Don't wanna get into it. Just be happy you've got a permanent backup singer in your doomed broken hearted choir."

"The love of my life died Wade, yours didn't"

"Don't matter, I killed any possibility of ever having a future with mine. Having a future at all since that bar money went south yet again. Then again that was the god damn idea right? Quit before I could fail. Bet you're real proud, everyone else is"

They sat in silence for the next half hour, as Wade finished the rest of Earl's whisky too. Only one tear managed to make an escape in that time, and as it rolled down Earl's cheek he felt that pang in his chest he had felt at Christmas – he had failed his son. The only life he had shown him how to live was one of misery having lost the love of a good woman. It was no wonder he had sabotaged himself.

It was only when Wade's head started to droop that Earl stood, fully sober on the hardware store roof for the first time in well over a decade.

"Okay, okay," he tugged on his son's arm urging him up, but Wade only resisted and pulled it back with so much force that he rocked on the edge.

"Hey son," he said a little more forcefully, "It's time to go home."

With every ounce of strength he had Earl managed to drag his son back to his shack and let him sleep it off on his bed.

He watched for a few minutes as Wade's breathing evened out and he began to snore softly. Earl shook his head sadly. He walked through his back door and picked up the hand shovel on the table.

The least he could do for his most loyal son was make sure he could afford that future if he still wanted it.

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**A/N: It's short I know! And not even very sweet haha but I thought it would be an interesting parallel to look at. Props to anyone who noticed that what Earl says to get Wade to leave was what Wade said to him in 1x05. Oh how time's have changed! **

**Hope you somewhat liked it! I might put up another one shot/missing moment from 1x22 that I wrote ages ago, just to have something a little bit more cheery floating around to remind us how perfect Zade actually is despite what TV will do for drama. Yes I'm one of those people who thought this "hurdle" was a complete writing failure and totally out of character. Yes it was necessary for them to break up, and yes it was probably going to be Wade when it all got too much and he freaked out. But given how loyal he is to Earl and Lavon and even Tansy when he refused to let her marry that twat, and given that he's been a secret romantic (he made her gumbo in episode 3 guys!) all along and chasing Zoe for ages, I just can't see him actually cheating. Anyway that's my two cents! Sorry to bore you with a rant. Anyone else pick up on the fact they were brought together during a wedding and torn apart at the next one? **

**Would love feedback if you've got any! :)**


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